Friendship

Friendship as a child is simply saying, they are my friend.  Kids are not judgmental or picky about friends.  They simply see a person and know that they want to play, so they are friends. When they fight over playing time or sharing, they simply want until the next recess and play again. It’s a simple plan with a very simple outcome. 

As adults, this becomes more convoluted.  When someone is different or sees things different than we do we don’t think that they can be our friend.  When someone’s priorities are different than ours, we see them as threatening or wrong.  When in reality these are the people that we need the most in our lives.

We need people around us that will challenge us. Those who make us think are the ones that make us grow. We all see the same world, but we see it through our own eyes and own experiences.  When we allow people around us that see the world through a different set of experiences and we share with them what we see, we learn something new.

Many of my best friends didn’t start out as friends.  We had a difference of opinion or a challenge, but by divine intervention, or circumstance we were able to see beyond the differences and realize that we are all on the same ride and the same journey.  Our paths have lead us different ways, but at any given moment we are surrounded by people by which we have something to learn. 

Some paths we cross teach us a life lesson in what not to do, some teach us compassion, pride, and love.  Some paths we join and walk a while and sometimes we need to find our own path.  As friends start to take their own path they learn new lessons and new experiences grow them.  And when your paths cross again you can learn from each other.

I challenge you to go someone an chance today that you wouldn’t normally.  Reach out to that person that has challenged you or caused you think about something outside your comfort-zone.  You will gain an experience and possibly even start a new friendship.  

One could even save a life.

Take the cookies when they are passed.

I recently read an article about a public speaking class and the things that were learned and shared.  It struck a few chords with me and I would like to share with you why.

Everyday people get up, go through the motions of life, go to bed and repeat.  Within that day, we are offered choices, obstacles and opportunity.  We shape our day and our lives by what we choose to engage in that day.  We make the choice to eat breakfast, go to work, talk to our friends, family, coworkers, stay calm, get emotional, etc.  These choices are ours.  Yes, we have expectations placed on us but our family, kids, and boss, but we have chosen to put their demands and needs in our daily lives as a priority.

Each and every day we are offered opportunities that we can choose to engage or we can let pass by.  Some things may seem trivial, and some things make us stop and think a little more.  But in reality each opportunity could be a life changing event.  No matter how big or small, these are the things that shape our lives.   

When I opened my email I could have ignored the Newsletter from our trainer, but I didn’t.  I chose to open it and read the article.  It made me stop and think about the opportunities presented to me on a daily basis.  So many times in my life, especially when I was younger, I was presented with opportunities that I passed.  They were passed on for many reasons.  I often think back on those choices and wonder where my life would be had I chosen differently.  Where would I be today had I chosen to be more focused on academics than on my social life and athletics in high school?  Because I was focused on athletics, I missed out on scholarships and getting into college.  So I didn’t go. Because I wasn’t in college, I was offered an opportunity to become a working student and train for the US Equestrian Team tryouts.  I passed on that too, even though it had been a dream of mine since I was a young child. It scared me.  I was scared of failing and scared of the success. Because I passed on my training, I was able to continue to coach.  In high school I was given the opportunity be a Junior Coach, then a volunteer coach, then an assistant coach, eventually a head coach.  It is the only thing I have never passed on. 

When an opportunity presents itself in the form of coaching, mentoring cheerleaders or coaches I rarely ever pass.  I know that in my heart, with every contact, skill and connection made, I will learn and grow.  I know that those I come into contact with will take something away from the experience.  Coaching has opened doors and opportunities for me and my life that I never thought possible.  Because of coaching I have traveled across the country, met some of my very best friends, and married the love of my life (which led to a beautiful daughter).  I have been able to see so many amazing athletes get a chance to become something they didn’t know they could.  I have witnessed kids graduate that were never expected to finish school. I have seen families joined together to support others. I have seen other coaches become successful because of my mentoring or learning from my failures. These things are all possible because whenever an opportunity presented itself, I said yes.  I always say yes and then figure out how we will make it all work. …Yes, I will come to your practice and watch.  Yes, please come to my house, we will study and learn what you need to be a well prepared coach.  Yes, I will help you coach that team.  Yes, I will help you run tryouts. Yes, please bring your team to my practice so your kids can see how we put it together.  Yes, yes, yes...  Always yes, and I always learn and gain more in my life because of those choices. 

The theme of the public speaking class was “Take the cookies when they are passed.”  The message is that when an opportunity presents itself, take it.  You never know what it will teach you, change in you, touch your heart or allow you to influence another. 

What choices did you make today? What did you pass on? What will you do today that will change your life forever?

Aug 31, 2015 - Saving Mr Banks

I have not been so emotional during a movie in years! Saving Mr. Banks was an amazing journey. Not only was I on an emotional roller coaster through the stories on screen is was taken through my own childhood. As a child we lived in the country with VERY little. No cable, no phone, no frills. Many times we had to conserve water from the cistern and take sponge baths. We did however have a television and a VCR. Mary Poppins was one of the few movies I had to watch. I grew up with Mary Poppins. I could put the movie in and lose myself in the stories and pretend I was anywhere but where I was. I think all families have it rough and as we grow up we choose the memories the we keep. Saving Mr Banks shows that there are some times when you just need to face your past in order to let go. No longer to be chained to the memories that define us. I chose a good morning to lose myself in a movie. Thanks for the memories. Perhaps it will help. ❤️

Aug 14, 2014

After 13 days straight of cheerleading practices, clinics and camps I am finally home. I am so incredibly blessed to be able to share my knowledge of cheerleading and coaching across the state. I have my dream job. It's not an easy job and it's certainly not a high paying job. But the emotional rewards are worth more than any amount of riches. This summer has rewarded me with a lifetime of memories and friendships. 

I am thankful for the coaches that believe in me and the students that have found a passion for cheer. I am beyond grateful for the friends I have made along the way. The coaches and athletes that have become my very best friends.  

I have the most amazing husband that understands my passion for coaching and is willing to take Jillian for a whole week by himself while I travel across the state. 

Now I need to take a few days, get back into the grove of family and home and allow my body some rest!  

April 10, 2014

Five years ago today my life was changed forever. In the last five years, I have made choices and took chances that prove that I am only human. My life has not taken a path that I planned, but I regret nothing that I've done to this day. Each choice, chance and trial has led me here. I have a husband that I love more than anything. A beautiful daughter and a job that I love. There is nothing that I would change other than maybe some of the people that I have hurt and some that are no longer in my life. I am healthy, happy and blessed with some of the BEST friends that anyone could ask for. ❤️☺️

My "Someday" is here and I love every minute of it. 

March 14, 2014

Please excuse the soapbox and rant in advance. 

Recently I saw an article the was very derogatory and belittling to my generation of adults that are not "taking care" of their parents. It went into detail about how it would be the least we could do to care for them after all they sacrificed for us. 

At first I didn't think much of it. But as it festered in the back of my mind and as other "events" have transpired I feel obligated to say screw you to the author of the article. You don't know me. You don't know my situation or of my family. You have no idea what we as a generation went through growing up or deal with in our lives. We didn't ask to be born and we certainly didn't ask our parents to make sacrifices. They did that on their own.  And let's face it, some sacrificed a lot less than others!

Yes, our parents probably did make sacrifices for us as kids, but if they are not sick or disabled and we have families and kids of our own, why are we still being expected to suffer? What if the parent in question is simply lazy? Why should our children and my families suffer? Why should we have to get second and third jobs to support them and miss out on the lives of our kids... Who ironically did to ask to be brought into his world? Why do we have to miss out on things that we worked hard to earn because of their poor choices. 

My generation (30-40 years old) has parents that are 50-75 years old as whole. Most of those parents are contented, able bodied adults. There are a few that are sick and in need of assistance, but as a whole they are a healthy generation. Why is my particular age group being targeted? 

Life is not fair. We know this, it's not news. I was not given any breaks growing up. I struggled often and received help from some pretty great people, who received help growing up. But now that I'm starting to get back on my feet, I'm being attacked and punished by people who have done very little to help me or encourage me in my life.  At what point do we, as a generation, get to say enough is enough?! I suffered, did my time and figured it out. Now it's your turn. 

Jan 22, 2014

Growing up. 

We all do it.  

We coach our kids on how to do it. 

The funny thing is we never stop. We are constantly growing, learning and living life. The more we live life, the more we grow. As we grow our lives change and evolve. What we want an need changes. Our tastes change and our friends change. Thus causing more growth.  It's a never ending circle. 

Over the last year I've grown a lot. I have realized that I am quick to judge and quicker to say no when something is not done my way. I am learning that my way is great (duh). but Gosh darn it so are a lot of other ways. What I do, I do for a reason. Usually I've tried and failed and come to a conclusion of how I need something done. But that doesn't mean that someone else's way

or idea is wrong... It's what works for them. 

I apply this to coaching because this season I have tried to be more accepting of others coaching styles and my cheerleaders interest in making suggestions. Some days I just can't. Some days I'm too overwhelmed or stressed to relinquish control. But the days that I do step back and let others try things... Shockingly it usually goes just fine!  

For some, your probably thinking... Yeah, we all learned that a hundred years ago...  Well being an OCD control nut tends to limit your learning curve and ability to relax.  Please be patient with me!

I don't know if my cheerleaders or my other coaching friends have noticed, if they haven't it's ok. Our struggles and accomplishments don't need to be recognized by others in order to make them valid, only that we see it and work towards a better us. (Something else I've learned.)

As one of my best friends is always saying; "We're the same, but different."

This is true! We are all working towards the same goals. We know what works for our kids and our programs. We should never stop listening to each other or encouraging each other.  You never know when listening to another persons idea will help you develop your self into the person you were destined to become.