Let it go

Don't hold onto your past so much you forget to enjoy the present and look forward to the future. There really are some things that will keep you from living your best life. If your BEST memories are from high school, then maybe you should take a look at your life and find something to make new great memories. I did enjoy parts of high school, but I'm glad it's over. I enjoyed my twenties, but I'm glad they're over. My thirties had their ups and downs, but still, some of my best memories came out of that era. As I look down the barrel to 40, I'm excited for a new chapter and new memories.

New year, new path

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think that most everyone is letting out a sigh of relief that 2018 is over. It will forever be the year that everyone was offended and opinionated. I truly hope that 2019 will be the year of healing and self-care. I know my family needs it. I plan to make some huge changes in 2019, step out of my comfort zone, and refocus my attention on my family and our lives. My life is my own and I plan to take over and become a better version of me. I need to complete some very important goals that may seem insignificant to others but have held me captive for a very long time.

I have one class left to finish up an associate’s degree and move toward my goal of graduation. I registered for that class last week and plan to check that goal off my list by graduating in May. This will open more doors for me and my future, it will also make the path to my bachelor’s degree easier.

The most important change will be my retirement from coaching. This year I will finish up my 24th year overall as a coach. With the closing of the 2019 Track season, I will be taking a step down from my post as the Head Cheer Coach at Sparks. I have spent 14 amazing years at Sparks high school with the best administration, staff, and students anyone could ask for. I have had some amazing accomplishments in my coaching career, and share some of my fondest memories. I feel that it is time to let someone else take the reins and make the Sparks Cheer program their own. I will dearly miss my athletes and the actual coaching at practices, but its time for someone else to worry about tryouts, spirit packs, fundraisers, away games, scheduling, travel, and grade checks. I would love to progress to the next level and coach college, but for now, I will take a break and recharge. Thank you for supporting me as a coach for all these years!

Best of luck to you all in 2019! I know it will be a year to remember!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Birthdays between the ages of 27 and 40 have always just been birthdays. We celebrate a whole year of adulting and trying to maintain that we are responsible for ourselves and our tiny humans.

I have to say, because of my amazing friends and family the 18th annual celebration of the 21st birthday was pretty awesome! I got out of bed today thinking that I didn’t feel a year older and wondering what the day had in store. But the amount of wonderful birthday wishes and good-natured razzing I received today reminded me that birthdays are a nice way to remember the year and look forward to the next one. I have met so many fantastic people in the last year and continued friendships with some of the best people on earth. I’m blessed to have the best job in the world with the best coworkers and students. I have a beautiful daughter and a loving family. I’m grateful for all of them. 

Thank you all. 💕😘

I must admit though, at 10:00pm on a Tuesday... I do feel a year older.

Friday Nights

In the fall, each long week culminates with Friday Night Lights. 

Each Friday night at some point I experience a moment of total calm. Everything gets quiet in my mind and my heart is at peace. Tonight it was during the national anthem. Standing on the sidelines between the cheerleaders and the band. Seeing the football boys stand proudly and ROTC on the field with the Stars and Stripes. I know in those moments I am home. I’m where I’m supposed to be and doing what I’m supposed to do. It’s what I never knew I wanted to be when I grew up. Sometimes the weeks are hard, the job is hard and the hours are long. But it’s always worth it. 

To the kids who’ve shared their lives with me and the kids who challenge me to be the best coach I can for them. Thank you. Thank you for all of it.

On The Track... Again

This has become my spring...Again. 

Coaching all 4 jumping events is ridiculously complicated and pushing me out of my comfort zone, but so rewarding! Long Jump, Triple Jump, High Jump, and Pole Vault. 

I have some pretty awesome kids who give their all each weekend. 

This weekend we had a tied PR in the high jump and 3 new PR’s in Triple! I came home sunburned and wind-burned and freezing cold, but really it was one of the best Saturday’s I have had in a long time.

Thank you to my husband who I know is living vicariously through me giving me tips and drills. Thank you to Coach K and Coach Leo for always being there to help me and my kids learn. Glad to be on the track again with some pretty great coaches! Thank you to Brad and Troy for putting up with me! 

Time Reveals Our Path

I have spoken a lot in the last few weeks about things happening for a reason. In my life, I believe this is true. I am learning to look back at my choices and events and start to piece together the how and why of life's twists and turns. I have become a student of my own life and it's fascinating. All my choices and experiences have lead me to this moment. I am who I am because of the mistakes, trials, relationships and things I have loved and lost. I can start to see the paths and the choices and how it has come together.

In the last 30 plus years, I never had a good answer for the "where do you see yourself in 10 years" question. I don't know if it was the fear of the future, fear of committing, or the fear of failure, but something always kept me from thinking so far ahead.

Over 20 years ago I was given a small opportunity, not to change the world, be certainly to affect the world around me. That one opportunity has been the one thing spanning all the years that has stuck with me and motivated me. The one things I have been truly good at. Through the years, I struggled to find myself and my true passion when all along it was with me. I was given the opportunity to coach, but that opportunity became so much more than skills and drills. Teaching kids the value of hard work and committing to something that was bigger than them; than all of us. This has taught me so much more that I could have ever imagined.

I learned something about myself 8 years ago. I learned that I would never be 'one of the notorious', or be in a position of power or great importance in a business world. I will never be rich and famous, and in some respects, I would just never be enough for some people. So much of society dictates what our personal success is. But success means so many different things to each and every one of us. 8 years ago, through failure, I learned that my success was not determined by someone else. It has taken 8 years to finally understand that letting go of others view of my success will set me free. This is a lesson that I struggle with each day.

Five weeks ago, Sparks High gave me an opportunity to do a job that I knew I would be good at. A job that all my previous jobs prepared me for. A job I knew I would love. Each day I wake up excited for the new day and the challenges that lie ahead. Some days have been easy and some frustrating. But each day I know, that in a small way, I am affecting change. I know that by my small contribution, I have a small part in the successful journey of others. I get to help others define their own success and their future.

I will be forever grateful to my Sparks High family. For over a decade they have given me the opportunity to find myself. They supported me when I stumbled and continue to have faith and trust in me. This family has saved my life. Now in the face of so many changes and dividing paths my heart breaks. Change is never easy, but inevitable. I will do my best stand tall and support those who have supported me. It may be with tears and a broken heart, but I know that the success of their journey depends on my choice to support them too.

Thank you to those who have given me the opportunity to be successful in my own way. I love you all so very much and I hope that I can continue to be a positive influence for years to come.

The sounds and smells of our lives

Every once in a while you experience a sound or a smell and it triggers something in your brain that paralyzes you, if only for a second. Sometimes good, some bad. It can be the scent of a perfume that someone close to you wears, or a sound that takes you back to your childhood. As I get older I experience these more and more.
 
Yesterday it was the rain. That wonderful slow drizzle of rain. The sound of it hitting the roof and the smell of rain on the pavement. This sound and smell make me infinitely happy. Rain cleanses the soul and makes everything new again.
 
Today it was my coffee. I happened to get a mixture of my creamer and coffee just right and it took me to the Ocean. Just for a fraction of a second. I don't even know the exact memory, but I know it was coffee near the beach. I stopped, closed my eyes and took that moment to be happy (and cry a little).
 
I really believe that this is what life is about.
Live, Dream, Adventure, Take Risks, and LOVE. All of these things create memories that will forever be stored in your brain. Do these things so that 10, 20, or 30 years later you can be sitting at your desk drinking coffee and be totally overcome with the same feelings you had at that specific moment in time.
 
It's worth it. All of it.