Education Stupor

Not everyone is destined to have a college education.
I am not a “smart” person, but I am an intelligent person. I have always struggled to learn out of a book; I am terrible with dates and names and even worse with Algebra. I do however read people and situations well, and I am resourceful enough to make things work. I think fast on my feet and can learn on the job or in the middle of a situation. I am clever and witty. Being college-educated is a different kind of "smart.” A college education opens doors and gives the illusion of higher pay and more opportunities. But at what cost?

I started my college journey in 2004. In the 15 years since I started attending college classes, I have changed my major five times. Some of those changes were due to an honest misunderstanding of the curriculum and what came after graduation, and some were due to my not being “smart” enough to complete what it would take to earn the degree. Often, I had a passion for a class and a good grasp on the skills needed, but not the ability to complete the course-work to the instructor’s standards. Some of my degree changes were blessings. There were also a few that broke my heart. I understand that the “real world” is not going to be like it is in college and I understand that much of what you learn in college is merely learning how to learn. There is nothing more discouraging than having a passion for something and being told that you really should pursue other options, or having an instructor tell you that perhaps college is just not meant for you. In the Fall of 2017, I took a leap and started taking classes after a 5-year hiatus with the hope of working toward a bachelor’s degree. I took a full class load because we had the money to go forward at the time. I completed one semester, and because life has a funny way of sending you messages in cryptic ways, we could not afford for me to attend the consecutive semester. This winter I did some research and discovered that I could take one class and potentially earn an Associates Degree in general studies. I decided to take the one class and secure the Associates Degree so that I would not lose the credits I had earned to date. What I wasn’t prepared for was the negativity from both the instructors and the students. I was treated inferior in many classes and often had instructors make comments that made me feel as though I should not be trying to finish my degree. I know that I am not an idiot, and to date, I carry a 3.65 GPA with many classes at the honors level, but the feeling of inadequacy is there. I know that with the large amounts of people attending college now, instructors feel the need to weed out those students who don’t have the drive or passion to pursue a specific area. I am frustrated at these same instructors who do not nurture those students who have an honest interest in the course, the course-work, the potential to earn a degree in that field. I don’t feel that belittling your students or gearing your classes in a way that makes people despise the subject matter is appropriate. After 15 years of taking college classes, I can say that I will earn, at minimum, an associate’s degree, but I will also say that the last 15 years have been a complete waste of time and money. The amount of debt required to attend classes is staggering. The amount of heart-ache and stress that I have put myself through to live up to a standard that I was not meant for is sickening. To those who have managed to secure degrees at the Associates, Bachelors, Masters, and the Doctoral level, congratulations. Please don’t look down on those of us without a college degree. Your level of education doesn’t make you superior, and my lack of “higher” education doesn’t mean that I am inferior or deserve less.