When TV hits too close

I just finished watching the first season of CHEER on Netflix. I avoided it initially because when it first aired It was right when I was retiring from coaching. I was so emotional I literally packed up my stuff and walked away.

I knew of Navarro Cheer from coaching and building my high school program around the successful collegiate programs. I wanted my kids prepared if they decided to pursue cheer at the next level, and they were. I wanted so much to coach at the next level but knew that wouldn’t be an option.

I know so many of my friends watched and wanted to talk about it but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to go down that road. After a few years and getting back on the horse so to speak I was ready to give it a shot. It was just as emotional as I thought it would be. Coaching youth is so much more than skills and drills. I have said that for 20 years. We get a glimpse into the lives of our kids that we wouldn’t otherwise. We come to know how incredibly courageous and strong these kids are and learn just what they go through. We do our best to guide them during our short part of their journey and hope that they take with them so much more than just how to participate in a sport. It’s gut-wrenching watching kids choose paths that will make things more difficult and just as emotional to watch them succeed. Every one of the hundreds of kids I coached touched my heart. There is not a day that goes by that something in my life doesn’t remind if of at least one of them. They made me who I am today and I am grateful for them. Watching this show brought so much of that back. So many of the good times and a bunch of the bad. Being the structure and 2nd mom for so many was a blessing in so many ways. I have loved that calling and am glad I have a second chance.

A few comments on the show though.

First off, every single catch in cheer doesn’t sound like that. It’s a sound byte people! Yes, it hurts, but if your flyers sound like that every single time, your technique is wrong. The Navarro team has good technique and the catch isn’t louder than the clap. I rolled my eyes every time!

While I like Gabi Butler and appreciate the amazing athlete she is, I despise her parents. They are portrayed as being more of her business managers and owners. They treat her like a cash cow and I fear she has suffered because of it. It’s childhood actor foreshadowing and Brittany issues waiting to happen.

It was hard to watch season one knowing how the scandal unfolds with Jerry. There was so much hype and so much positivity from him in the show, but he turns out to be nothing like we thought. It’s tough to watch going in.

I love Monica. I relate to her on so many levels and appreciate what she has done with that program. She turns water into wine every year with new kids at a Junior College. It’s tremendous what she can do. I wish I could’ve had that opportunity at the college level. I am pretty proud of what I was able to do at Sparks though! That will always be some of the proudest moments of my life.

Thank you.

Thanks to those who supported me then and now. Thanks to those athletes who let me be part of their journey. I hope I’m still in your head helping you stay on track. Thanks to those who knew my heart and continue to push me daily to be who they know I can be and help me see it too.

*\o/*

Get my clipboard!

This may come as a surprise to some of you and for those who really know me… I would hope no shock at all…

I have agreed to be an assistant coach for the Astoria High School Cheerleaders.

I know, I know, but here’s the thing. You know I love it and you know I will offer up help and mentoring to anyone willing to listen. Our school's cheer program is rebuilding this year with a fantastic new coach who loves listening to an old lady jabber on about the sport she’s dedicated so much of her life to… It feels great to be able to be in the gym again and offer up my knowledge to a whole new group of students and friends willing to listen. I missed it friends, too much to admit.

Side note… it’s harder to perform skills and drills after 40.

Oh! For those of you putting money on it… 973 days or 2 1/2 years is how long it took.

42. Thanks for all the fish.

42. It's an age. A shift in mentality. A better understanding of life and what we really need. People ask me what I want for my birthday. At 42 it is less about what I want and more about what we need. What I need is for the world to become a less scary place. We all need to know trust again and regain faith in humanity.

I am calling each one of us to take a day and do our very best to be nice and show compassion for each other. This will look different to each individual, but I ask you to do what you can, however that may look to you.

At the end of the day, ask yourself the following:

Did I offer peace today?
Did I bring a smile to someone’s face?
Did I say words of Healing?
Did I let go of my anger and resentment?
Did I Forgive?
Did I Love?

Imagine the ripple effect we could have.

THIS is what I want for my birthday.

Today we closed a chapter.

Today we closed a chapter. In some respects, it was a very short chapter, but for the last 15 months it is has been the longest chapter of our lives. It has been wrought with uncertainty and confusion. We didn’t always know where the correct information was coming from (still don’t), and we were just trying to survive the day-to-day of it all. We saw so many events, celebrations, vacations, and opportunities vanish overnight. We have witnessed horrible indiscretions, terrible acts of violence, riots, the collapse of our physical and mental well-being. However, in the midst of it, many of us found family. A newfound love in a hobby, craft, heritage, and personal journey. 

Let’s be honest though, it was hard. Very hard. 

There have been many tears and meltdowns but there have also been beautiful connections made with family and friends along with a new appreciation for the freedom to move about our community, our state, our country, and our world. 

For many, we never stopped working and providing services. For even more, we watched with dread the loss of work, support systems, business, and even life. These experiences all define a moment of our lives and will continue to shape our future. 

Today I was able to close a two-year-long chapter. My transition to the Pacific Northwest finally feels real. I am surrounded by geographical beauty in the Columbia River and the Pacific Ocean which are walking distance from my home. More importantly, I am surrounded by an amazing tribe of people who respect and share in my joys, my heartache, my struggle, and my success. They are strangers who became friends and often feel like family. They love me, Doug, and Jillian and have accepted us as a part of their world. 

My Someday is here. It’s real and it’s everything I hoped it would be. But we are not done. We are not out of this. We are also not alone. 

Thank you to my tribe. Thank you for your patience, guidance, and character-building honesty. Thank you for loving my child as your own and not judging me when I step outside just to smell the rain and the coastal air. 

Have a restful summer friends. Find your balance and live, love, and recharge. 💕⚓️🪴🌊✨ 

Change

This was the decade of change with 2019 being the crescendo. In the last 10 years I remarried, had a baby, and coached many amazing athletes to victories (both team and personal). We traveled to Hawaii, Mexico, Disneyland, and all along the Oregon Coast. I changed jobs twice and watched my very deserving husband retire from teaching. It was a wonderful journey with great friends and new family. All of the changes and challenges of the year have been humbling and brought us so much closer as a family. As we head into the new decade and prepare to celebrate Jillian’s tenth birthday and our tenth wedding anniversary we will continue to celebrate our dreams and set our sights on more goals. I don’t know yet where the new year will lead us, but I do know I’m grateful for the friends and family that supported us on our journey. Love and Hugs to you all and best wishes on your new year.

- - - - - 

2019 saw all of the changes and accomplishments finally come together. 

January flew by with some major plans in the making and coaching my last competition cheer team. 

In February I coached my last cheer squad and retired from 24 years of coaching cheer. 

March was the transition to Track and Jillian’s bridging for Girl Scouts on the Hoover Dam. 

April was filled with coaching track, transitioning to the new cheer coach, my last girls weekend with Char and Jules, and helping to organize my last Quarter Auction. 

In May I graduated with my Associates Degree, Jillian performed in her dance recital, I Co-Coached my last Track team to Regional and State runner up titles. 

In June I applied for and accepted a job on Oregon’s North Coast, packed up our family, and said goodbye to some of my dearest friends and support system. 

July was spent adjusting to a tiny apartment and Doug starting a new job as Assistant Park Ranger for the State Park. 

In August Jillian started attending day camp and saw the sights of the area including the Astoria Tower, Trolley, County Fair, and Trip to the Zoo. I began working as the Head Secretary/Office Manager at Astoria High. 

September was a time for Jillian to start a new school and make new friends. I had a good 40th birthday. I also said good-bye to one of my dearest friends who lost her battle with Cancer. 

In October we faced some continued challenges and changes with adjusting to the area. 

November we traveled down to Medford to visit mom and came back up the coast visiting Newport and Tillamook. 

December finished up with school and traveled almost 2000 miles to visit Nevada seeing family and friends.

40 and freaking out!

It was a busy week. Volleyball line duty on Tuesday. My birthday Wednesday, football Friday. The passing of one of my dearest friends floored me in the middle of it all, but I am slowly building a support system here and my best friend was there when I needed her. Dinner last night at Mo’s and some crafting today. Needless to say, I came into my forties like a cannonball into the deep end of the pool. Until I can get adjusted to our new life I’ll just take it all one step at a time. Thank you to everyone that reached out this week for the multitude of reasons I needed you. I’m blessed to have such amazing friends and family.

#CancerSucks

My Dearest Julie,
You didn’t lose the fight with cancer, heaven won the fight to take you home. Now you get to stand tall next to Randy and your mom and watch over your best friends and dear family.
I know you know it but, thank you. Thank you for being the friend that always told me how it was and picked me up when I fell from grace. You hugged me and laughed with me and held me accountable for my mistakes. I will always love you for taking me in and loving me when I needed a home. We coached together and saw some great successes. We traveled together and saw some beautiful sights. You were there when Jillian was born and at my tiny 2nd wedding on the river. You were always one of the very first people I called to share my news with and my best coffee date buddy. Most of all we laughed and loved and always picked up right where we left off. You will always be one of my dearest friends. I know you were watching over me today to make sure my birthday was great. Thank you for all you’ve done for me and my family. Until we meet again Jules, I love you. 😘💔 #cancersucks.