New year, new path

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think that most everyone is letting out a sigh of relief that 2018 is over. It will forever be the year that everyone was offended and opinionated. I truly hope that 2019 will be the year of healing and self-care. I know my family needs it. I plan to make some huge changes in 2019, step out of my comfort zone, and refocus my attention on my family and our lives. My life is my own and I plan to take over and become a better version of me. I need to complete some very important goals that may seem insignificant to others but have held me captive for a very long time.

I have one class left to finish up an associate’s degree and move toward my goal of graduation. I registered for that class last week and plan to check that goal off my list by graduating in May. This will open more doors for me and my future, it will also make the path to my bachelor’s degree easier.

The most important change will be my retirement from coaching. This year I will finish up my 24th year overall as a coach. With the closing of the 2019 Track season, I will be taking a step down from my post as the Head Cheer Coach at Sparks. I have spent 14 amazing years at Sparks high school with the best administration, staff, and students anyone could ask for. I have had some amazing accomplishments in my coaching career, and share some of my fondest memories. I feel that it is time to let someone else take the reins and make the Sparks Cheer program their own. I will dearly miss my athletes and the actual coaching at practices, but its time for someone else to worry about tryouts, spirit packs, fundraisers, away games, scheduling, travel, and grade checks. I would love to progress to the next level and coach college, but for now, I will take a break and recharge. Thank you for supporting me as a coach for all these years!

Best of luck to you all in 2019! I know it will be a year to remember!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Birthdays between the ages of 27 and 40 have always just been birthdays. We celebrate a whole year of adulting and trying to maintain that we are responsible for ourselves and our tiny humans.

I have to say, because of my amazing friends and family the 18th annual celebration of the 21st birthday was pretty awesome! I got out of bed today thinking that I didn’t feel a year older and wondering what the day had in store. But the amount of wonderful birthday wishes and good-natured razzing I received today reminded me that birthdays are a nice way to remember the year and look forward to the next one. I have met so many fantastic people in the last year and continued friendships with some of the best people on earth. I’m blessed to have the best job in the world with the best coworkers and students. I have a beautiful daughter and a loving family. I’m grateful for all of them. 

Thank you all. 💕😘

I must admit though, at 10:00pm on a Tuesday... I do feel a year older.

Friday Nights

In the fall, each long week culminates with Friday Night Lights. 

Each Friday night at some point I experience a moment of total calm. Everything gets quiet in my mind and my heart is at peace. Tonight it was during the national anthem. Standing on the sidelines between the cheerleaders and the band. Seeing the football boys stand proudly and ROTC on the field with the Stars and Stripes. I know in those moments I am home. I’m where I’m supposed to be and doing what I’m supposed to do. It’s what I never knew I wanted to be when I grew up. Sometimes the weeks are hard, the job is hard and the hours are long. But it’s always worth it. 

To the kids who’ve shared their lives with me and the kids who challenge me to be the best coach I can for them. Thank you. Thank you for all of it.

On The Track... Again

This has become my spring...Again. 

Coaching all 4 jumping events is ridiculously complicated and pushing me out of my comfort zone, but so rewarding! Long Jump, Triple Jump, High Jump, and Pole Vault. 

I have some pretty awesome kids who give their all each weekend. 

This weekend we had a tied PR in the high jump and 3 new PR’s in Triple! I came home sunburned and wind-burned and freezing cold, but really it was one of the best Saturday’s I have had in a long time.

Thank you to my husband who I know is living vicariously through me giving me tips and drills. Thank you to Coach K and Coach Leo for always being there to help me and my kids learn. Glad to be on the track again with some pretty great coaches! Thank you to Brad and Troy for putting up with me! 

Time Reveals Our Path

I have spoken a lot in the last few weeks about things happening for a reason. In my life, I believe this is true. I am learning to look back at my choices and events and start to piece together the how and why of life's twists and turns. I have become a student of my own life and it's fascinating. All my choices and experiences have lead me to this moment. I am who I am because of the mistakes, trials, relationships and things I have loved and lost. I can start to see the paths and the choices and how it has come together.

In the last 30 plus years, I never had a good answer for the "where do you see yourself in 10 years" question. I don't know if it was the fear of the future, fear of committing, or the fear of failure, but something always kept me from thinking so far ahead.

Over 20 years ago I was given a small opportunity, not to change the world, be certainly to affect the world around me. That one opportunity has been the one thing spanning all the years that has stuck with me and motivated me. The one things I have been truly good at. Through the years, I struggled to find myself and my true passion when all along it was with me. I was given the opportunity to coach, but that opportunity became so much more than skills and drills. Teaching kids the value of hard work and committing to something that was bigger than them; than all of us. This has taught me so much more that I could have ever imagined.

I learned something about myself 8 years ago. I learned that I would never be 'one of the notorious', or be in a position of power or great importance in a business world. I will never be rich and famous, and in some respects, I would just never be enough for some people. So much of society dictates what our personal success is. But success means so many different things to each and every one of us. 8 years ago, through failure, I learned that my success was not determined by someone else. It has taken 8 years to finally understand that letting go of others view of my success will set me free. This is a lesson that I struggle with each day.

Five weeks ago, Sparks High gave me an opportunity to do a job that I knew I would be good at. A job that all my previous jobs prepared me for. A job I knew I would love. Each day I wake up excited for the new day and the challenges that lie ahead. Some days have been easy and some frustrating. But each day I know, that in a small way, I am affecting change. I know that by my small contribution, I have a small part in the successful journey of others. I get to help others define their own success and their future.

I will be forever grateful to my Sparks High family. For over a decade they have given me the opportunity to find myself. They supported me when I stumbled and continue to have faith and trust in me. This family has saved my life. Now in the face of so many changes and dividing paths my heart breaks. Change is never easy, but inevitable. I will do my best stand tall and support those who have supported me. It may be with tears and a broken heart, but I know that the success of their journey depends on my choice to support them too.

Thank you to those who have given me the opportunity to be successful in my own way. I love you all so very much and I hope that I can continue to be a positive influence for years to come.

The sounds and smells of our lives

Every once in a while you experience a sound or a smell and it triggers something in your brain that paralyzes you, if only for a second. Sometimes good, some bad. It can be the scent of a perfume that someone close to you wears, or a sound that takes you back to your childhood. As I get older I experience these more and more.
 
Yesterday it was the rain. That wonderful slow drizzle of rain. The sound of it hitting the roof and the smell of rain on the pavement. This sound and smell make me infinitely happy. Rain cleanses the soul and makes everything new again.
 
Today it was my coffee. I happened to get a mixture of my creamer and coffee just right and it took me to the Ocean. Just for a fraction of a second. I don't even know the exact memory, but I know it was coffee near the beach. I stopped, closed my eyes and took that moment to be happy (and cry a little).
 
I really believe that this is what life is about.
Live, Dream, Adventure, Take Risks, and LOVE. All of these things create memories that will forever be stored in your brain. Do these things so that 10, 20, or 30 years later you can be sitting at your desk drinking coffee and be totally overcome with the same feelings you had at that specific moment in time.
 
It's worth it. All of it.

Family Traditions

Growing up, my family didn't have a lot of traditions. We had the usual holiday get-togethers where everyone congregated at my grandmother's home. When I was very young my grandparents on my father’s side took a two-week holiday vacation at Diamond Lake in Oregon.  They rented a cabin and took their boat.  It was always a highlight of my summer, but as they got older they stopped taking the trip.

When Doug and I married we were both in need of a new life and new traditions.  A few years in, he had the opportunity to interview for a teaching position in Astoria, OR.  We discussed sending him up to interview solo, but we decided to take in impromptu family trip.  We rented a very small car, reserved a spot in a KOA ‘Kabin’ for a few days, stuck a cute little two-year-old Jillian into her adventure seat and off we went.  Doug had not spent any time on the northern Oregon coast and I had hadn’t been there in 20 years, so we explored and fell in love with the area.  While we were there, we both imagined what our lives would be like if we moved and it was wonderful.  Doug didn’t get the job and we were actually kind-of heart broken, but we understood that the time was not right and we had other things left to do in Nevada.

Hug Point State Park, 2012

The following year we went back.  Doug had applied for a job in a different town, but we still went up to Astoria to visit.  He didn’t get that job either, but we continued to explore and fall in love with the area.  This time we spent some time in the ‘Kabin’ and we took our camping setup with the tents and outdoor kitchen. Jillian was a little older and starting to understand the beauty of the coast. We visited lighthouses, the Tillamook Cheese Factory, most of Newport and continued to fall in love with the coast.  Growing up in Oregon, I took many trips to the coast.  I always loved visiting, but as I got older I appreciated the community and culture even more.  Happily, Doug and Jillian were starting to see it too.  It felt like going home.

Cape Mears Lighthouse, 2013

The third year there was no job interview, we just went.  We adjusted the trip a little and didn’t go all the way up to Astoria. We Packed up the car with more camping equipment that you can fathom! We grabbed our hoodies and jeans and spent a week enjoying the coastal weather while Nevada was sitting in 100+ degree heat.  The trip was fun, but we decided that we needed to look into a tent trailer or a small trailer.  It was taking upwards of two hours to set up camp. Our fussy, now 4-year old was hard to wrangle and there was too much for one person to do while the other entertained Jillian. Jillian was now starting to really love the coast and looked forward to the trip.  It had become our family tradition for sure! Doug was developing a healthy taste for Rogue Ale’s and Jillian loved seeing the sea lions lounging on the rocks, docks and beaches.

Beverly Beach State Park - Nature Tour, 2014

In the next year Doug did a ton of research and we visited every RV Show that came our way.  We checked out Campers, Tent Trailers, RV’s and even wandered through the big 5^th Wheels and Class-A RV’s that were only a dream. Finally, in March of 2015 we were in a place to purchase a tent trailer that we could pull with our current small SUV.  We drove down to Turlock, CA to pick it up. We tested it out a few times prior to the Oregon trip and loved it! So much easier to set up and take down. Less than a half hour compared to the 2+ that the tent site took.  Much of the setup involved things that even Jillian could help with. Because of the trailer, we were able to head all the way back up to Astoria and even extended our trip to nine days! It was wonderful! 

Beverly Beach State Park - Sunset walk, 2015

As we round the corner into spring, we are planning out our vacation again.  We have booked our favorite spot in Fort Stephens State Park in Warrenton, OR and plan on taking advantage of our Thousand trails membership along the rest of the coast. This year we will go up through Bend and Central Oregon to get up north, hoping to avoid the awful heat and humidity of the Central Valley and I-5 Corridor. We plan to take 14 days this year, the most we have ever been away from home.  Jillian is already starting to plan out her toys and packing her must-haves for the trip.  She really wants to try her hand at fishing this year! Doug and I want to take advantage of the amenities our membership to Thousand Trails gets us and attempt crabbing. 

With a lot of patience and other necessary events between, we look forward to this year’s adventure! 56 days to go!